Should You Ever Tolerate Disrespect in Your Relationship?
You should never tolerate disrespect from your partner.
That doesn't mean, however that you will never be disrespected.
(This article is specifically for women who have male partners, but can relate to same sex partners as well.)
Sometimes, just like you, he will have a bad day. Sometimes, when he feels bad inside, he will unconsciously project that onto you through blame, shame, belittling or passive aggression. He may be rude and say things that he will wish he took back.
Of course it's crucially important for you to be conscious of not doing this to him when you're in a bad mood, fearful or anxious, but for the sake of being on the receiving end, there are two steps you need to take. I didn't say they are easy, and they may be a work in progress for weeks, months or even years. Stay with it. I remember my mom telling me this about my dad's bad days when I was little, and I still go through these two steps in my marriage.
1. Recognize where it's coming from (his own bad feelings, insecurities, fears, guilt or shame that he can't handle within himself) and don't take it personally. It is NOT about you.
2. Draw a line. This looks like... "You do not get to speak to me that way." Rather than getting into huge fight about some irrelevant topic that has nothing to do with the root core of why he's being rude, you go to the core. "I recognize that you're not feeling good, but that is NO excuse for you to speak that way to me."
That's it. Detachment and boundary. As long as you don't get swept up in his emotional storm, he'll come around. He'll process your boundary, apologize from his heart and take note to be more careful next time.
Disclaimer: I am not speaking of chronic abusive relationships, or even chronic codependency. There are greater measures needed in these cases, for which I would love to speak with you about. Please reach out at any time. firstname.lastname@example.org.
This is about you taking your feminine power back in the relationship so your partner can take back his supportive masculine role as well. This shift in energy causes massive transformation in relationships, heals them and lease to fulfillment, happiness, support and all-around love.